ambivalence.

I used to hate my school...totally. The place where it is situated, the school grounds, the facilities, the atmosphere and some people used to get on my nerves. Now, I'm getting used to it. From the dirt clinging on to my skin whenever I commute, the nasty odors wafting through the air wherever I go (vehicle smoke, cigarette smoke, trash, and Allium cepa in the classroom), the "Unpredictables" on the streets and at school, and the stuff I hate at school. Yeah. Believe it or not, I AM getting used to those things.

"I actually made friends"

I thought that my blockmates were all brainiacs without any social life. Then I reminded myself that I was enrolled in BS Biology. Duh (braindead). Eventually I opened up to them. It was quite hard since they have a different way of thinking. During my Alabang days, spending money wasn't much of a scene. No matter how much you spend, nobody will give a damn. But when I did that during my first Manila days, I was flooded with variations of "ang mahal naman nyan!" I was shocked with their shocked reaction. I wanted to say something like " I'm spending my own money, not yours", but I didn't. I may be blunt sometimes but I know when to keep my mouth shut. Majority of my blockmates are of the "thrifty" type so I had to be the one to adjust to the environment. Soon, I was exposed to street foods and the carinderia. My absolute favorite is the tapsilog. There was even a time when I couldn't get enough of it that's why I always went to the shop selling that food. What else...the tokneneng and the cheesesticks fried in overused cooking oil!!! Hahaha! I won't forget the first time i ate those street foods. Why? We had this little celebration in class and most of the food were of street food variety. I really had fun that day because it reminded me of the Agape thing we used to do in Alabang. It was funny because my blockmates were worried that I might get a stomachache. Luckily I didn't. Heh.

The days went by. Before we knew it, a semester already ended. Our population is already dwindling. Most of our blockmates shifted to another course. It's quite sad because we were just developing ties with each other yet they had to leave already.

It's no secret that most of us dislike a certain person. He's so full of himself and it's driving us crazy. If only he'd change that part of him! He wouldn't have a hard time being liked and accepted by others.

"Opposites attract"

There were some occasions when I became the apple of somebody's eye. It only remained that way though, because I had a boyfriend at that time. There are no regrets by the way.

"Ambivalence"

HE was part of the reason why I opted for this school at the last minute. I thought that we could be together at last and prove to him how much I care for him. But things got nasty during summer break.

Seeing him around school made me feel nauseous sometimes. I won't hide the fact that I dislike him until now, but I won't hide the fact that I still give a damn about him.

I like and dislike going to school. There are people whom I like to see, and there are those whom I don't.

It really is a like and dislike situation.

beneath the blue lens lies the truth. part 1

"Rumors are nice, especially if you want to ruin a person's self-image"

I've been wondering, what has he been telling everyone lately? Stupid lies to hide his own dirt and make me the antagonist? That's soo low. He could've just picked a fight with me. It won't make any difference anyway.

He used to visit me at my school here in Alabang. Hmm, once or twice maybe. The first one was to deliver my college application forms. Yeah. I remember now. I almost got late for Accounting class that day. The second visit was just wala lang. He just came by to have a chat and give me some of the cookies he baked. That was also the time when my friends got to see him personally for the very first time. I had fun that day because his visit made me feel special. Who wouldn't feel the same way? I mean, he came from who-knows-where just to drop by for a while.

I may have forgotten the memories from those days, but some are indelibly printed on my mind. Recently, I heard from a friend of mine that 4 eyes has been reminiscing about our past. I won't react to anything like that if it was only about the reminiscing part. BUT NO!!! He glazed his story with a HUGE amount of sugar coating.

LAYER 1: "I travelled for 2 hours and I only got to see her for 15 minutes..."

LAYER REMOVED: He did travel for 2 hours, but the 15 minutes thing is so wrong!!! I was in highschool then you sick bastard! What did you expect me to do? Cut class?! I didn't have lunch because I wanted to spend more time with you.

LAYER 2: "Huh? I didn't SMS her"

LAYER REMOVED: He said this after my friend asked him if he still SMSed me. He did SMS me that day. He asked something regarding the course t-shirt they were selling. Maybe he thought that I was somebody else. Maybe he misread my name in his phonebook or something...but he already has 4 eyes. How can he still misread things?